WAW

[markhaving probs]

Hi Saffie,

The phone thing came out of leftfield. Knowing how my wife used to be, this is not the sort of thing she would have suggested. Her 'reasons' were that if she was in a bad mood, or if I was in a bad mood when either of us rang, we could engage in a row. She also mentioned my daughters age and said that if she was with me and she wanted to talk to her privately then she could. These sound quite desperate 'reasons' and if I am not being too paranoid I sounds like to me she does not want me checking up on her.

I totally agree with you about somebody pulling her strings. She said again last night there is nobody else, though she would say that, but she is engaging in behaviour that is totally unrecognisable and strange. I am also wondering whether she is trying to get me to hate her so that I can speed up this process, she knows how I feel about her but I do not say any ILU's.

I agree again regarding the children. I am disgusted she is using the children in this way, it is unforgivable to try and browbeat me into signing documents so that she calms down. Saffie, as much as I do not wish to leave the marital home, I must because it relieves the tension at home which means she cannot vent her anger at me, the children will not have to put up with arguing, and I can control the divorce proceedings more. If any documentation arrives I can process it at MY speed and I regain a small degree of control. Who knows, with me not being there maybe she can start to analyse the situation better, though if she is being 'driven' this will not make one iota of difference.

She always wants to know what savings I have, I have not told her catagorically. I do not believe she has done sufficient 'number crunching' pertaining to staying in the house. I am going to pay the mortgage until November when the fixed arrangement runs out, then she is going to get her own mortgage and help from childrens tax benefit and other handouts.
We received a £500 gas bill, £300 water rates at the same time, how is she going to fund living in the house, unless someone else is?

She would/has NEVER considered C as she did it would not make any difference. I agree about her scruples - she is hellbent on divorcing. She has not wavered in her pursuit of this since the bomb dropped. Her tenacity and focus has even surprised me, there has been no 'thinking time', no thought to me, just the end goal of divorcing. As I said yesterday I do not think I have any stratagies to play now. DR to try and save the marriage is now a waste of my energy, though I have not given up on her, but a female work colleague told me she is treating you like a bast***, forget about her because you are wasting your energy trying to stop what looks like an express train with the intention to run you over. She says to concerntrate on me and the children (this is from someone who has never seen DB/DR)and try to be the best dad you can. Admirable advice I think. I don't know whether her anger is because of me, the situation, stress, pressure, though I got to forget about her and GAL.

I will also try to keep the moral highground, but does it look like it is all over - period??