Jayce's thread

[Jayce]

Thanks! I asked him if he knew it awhile ago, whatever that means, why he didn't tell me then instead of putting me thru hell. No answer. Its not like I didn't know about the ED, altho back when he said libido was gone, the ED wasn't as noticeable or frequent and going off the beta-blocker helped.

I hope it is the truth. Sounded like it. From my past posts here & posts on other threads since last fall, you may have come across my rants about him being passive-aggressive and what that means in communication. Sometimes he just says things either to upset me further or sound like he's answering. He is intermittent passive-aggressive and is great when he's not looking for hidden meanings or traps or whatever and just acts like a normal person. I hate to play games, but when he's given me a particularly hard time I don't talk much the next day. He always does a 180 & is nice again because that scares him. So 2 weekends ago he was blowing off again into Mon. & I knew he'd call me from work & I just didn't answer. He called the house phone twice & cell twice, each message more concerned than the last. I didn't tell him I was so fed up, hurt, angry that I didn't answer on purpose. Just said I was where I didn't hear it. He was already set to be real nice & didn't realize I was fibbing. If I'd told him it was on purpose, he'd have been a little mad, but mostly hurt. I just wanted him to sweat a little. I can be mean & petty for a good reason. This was a little poke in the gut cuz I knew he'd be worried about where I was, if I'd gone & he wouldn't know where. Makes him face that he's pushed too hard again.

A characteristic of the P-A is "I hate you, don't leave me" they fear being abandoned. Part of the anger & yelling is to keep you from getting too close cuz then they'd get attached & you'd leave. I can deal w/it, but not in this situation. For one thing, I'm fed up w/his irrational, illogical talk & actions. Time to man up & quit letting his fears (real & irrational) rule his reactions and behavior. Its not like we're fighting about who dented the car or spent too much money.

I guess he really gets (at last) my mental state. He had a physical last week. Dr. called, has to see him next week to discuss his test results. Usually he just calls w/cholesterol numbers. He said if I hadn't heard him on the phone, he wouldn't have told me so I wouldn't be worrying before we go on vacation. ED is mostly physical and has to do with blood circulation and oxygen transport. The condition of the blood vessels, including arterial plaque, damage from smoking, and all those other nasty things stubborn people do to themselves thinking -what? - their bodies are different? Sorry to be going on so long.

Maybe the anti-smoking campaign should quit talking about lung cancer and focus on guys getting DWD* from it instead. I'll bet it'd make a stronger impression even tho they don't die of it.

I hope you are doing better. I'll have to check the other threads later.
Jayce
*Drooping Weenie Disease