Ok, all good points. Wow, what can I ever say whenever you speak. You really know how to lay it on the line.
Well, I am not opposed to her going to visit my sisters family or my dad. I also think it could be good and help in putting things back together. My dad said he was opposed to her coming to his house without me. I didn't say.
I'm not trying to control where she wants to live. I am only trying to control whether or not I have access to my kids.
Yes, I should not have come here. I should not have left Texas even temporarily. I realize that. It was a big mistake. I fell to pieces and did not handle myself like a man. I let to many insecurities get in the way and didn't stand tall.
I also let money get in the way of my thinking. I thought I don't want to struggle again financially. So I thought up my skills and get a better job immediately. I let alot of things get in the way of thinking clearly.
In doing that, I lost sight of what was most important. I was trying to keep up with W financially so I didn't struggle and I could provide for my kids as well as her. I totally lost sight of what was most important.
I admit. Yes, I was controlling in the M. I admit that also. I admit I made a ton of mistakes in my M. She has lots of valid arguements against me and the way I handled things for years. And I admitted that to her.
And I agree that the A was not about sex. The A came about because of problems in our M. She just took the A to another level is all.
I admit, it is very hard for me to move past this and detach. I am rather pathetic in that sense.
Ya, where are all those other women that used to post. Good point.
On the one hand, I have Stuck808 telling me to stand up for myself and on the other hand, I have you telling me not to be controlling.
I agree I made all bad moves. I just want to do the right thing now and I want to make sure it is the right thing.
Geez I'm so confused now.
Lets break it down like this.
The kids need me. I need to step up and be there for them regardless of income as JD said. I miss the kids. I need to be an example to them. I need to show W I can be different. I need to not open my mouth when she says anything. I just need to be friendly and concerned about my kids.
I feel like every move I make is the wrong move.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
