Married two and half years. Separated 8 months ago. H was drinking too much and arguing most of the time. H didn't want to live with my older children in the house. I didn't like the drinking, the arguing and general behavior. I gave him the choice to stay, stop the drinking, enter MC. He wanted to drink and left, was dead set to D. Two weeks later he is asking to work on the R. We dated, but the pattern didn't change. Around the holidays I found this site, read the DR book, decided to go dark. By the end of Jan he starts his sobriety in AA and begins IC. End of Feb he is asking to reconcile, but every contact starts an argument. Mid March he wavers about reconciliation. H issue is that he wants me to support his sobriety and his committment to church and start over. H refuses to consider living together with my children. My issue is wanting a sober H, a stable H, and responsible H. I'm not certain he will be able to do this. H is immature and self centered. Always had someone to take care of him. I have always been overly responsible and a caretaker. I want a balanced lifestyle. One child will be going away for college soon, the other just quit and is working. Both want H to treat me better and to stop drinking. I think that covers most.
