Brian, I think you might want to read some of Refusetolose threads - he's a great guy that went through something very similar to what you're describing - he's now divorced - but a lot stronger and healthier than when his situation started - and he's still dealing with a volatile XW - just as I am dealing with an angry STBX.
I would also suggest that you start a thread in newcomers - just to get to know more people - and then eventually come back to separated...the threads here just don't get the same amount of attention as threads in newcomers - so you might find more feedback there.
