I received this email from my Husband and had to laugh at the irony of it all........
21 Rules from the Guy's Side
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
11. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
23. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I have been sleeping on and off for most of the day as I am still sick....BLECH!
I re-read my previous post with the funny email from my Husband and although this may sound nuts, I am glad that I can say things are somewhat "normal" and that we can joke about such things again.
I am trying to work at detaching from my boss as much as possible. She sends me texts during my days off to get my attention, she calls me Miss Morality.
I do feel sorry for her, I know she must be in terrible pain emotionally, but I don't want to be her friend. I don't trust her, and like a typical MLC'er, it is all about her and I don't have the patience.
Just my little vent for the day.........
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
BND, Your boss's nickname for you, coming from her is a compliment. Do you two have a good working relationship otherwise? Do you think you'll be able to maintain boundaries with her, or is it time to update the resume?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I have no real problem with my job, it is just that I do not get paid to be a therapist and I don't want to cross the line.
I have avoided going into the office at all costs and sometimes she will call me from the office phone to come and see her, which means I have to go listen........
My job entails planning the menus, working with food distributers,ordering and budgeting and making sure that the inventory is in, and then of course, cooking the food.
I wish she would see a therapist. She just started taking AD's and AA's which is a good thing, or so I thought, BUT it doesn;t seem to be helping.
As for the "Miss Morality", she told me I was no longer fun and reminded her of the cartoon angel sitting on her shoulder that plays her conscience......whatevahhhhhhhhh!!!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I agree. I do need to focus on me and S. I actually have huge career decisions to make... I'm actually very grateful considering the economy...but I've been distracted with all of this in my personal life.
My DB coach says he's part WAS and MLCer. So I guess that's good and bad. I have been keeping a very close eye on the finances, and he's actually been ok to good. He was about to do something very stupid and was actually wise enough to call me before he made the purchase. And I didn't freak out, thanked him for thinking of all of us and calling me. Then I said "If you need this, then do it. We'll find a way to pay for it." I hung up and he didn't do it. I was amazed.
So I need to stick with 'don't believe anything they say and only 50% of what they do'? And I am going to be less available. I actually realize now, I need a break from him. I just need some breathing room. He's being "nice" now. Very sweet, calling me baby, so I guess that's a good sign he might have sweated a little bit when I said File already. Go do it this week.
He had an EA and the OW didn't want to be with him physically, ever. She's much younger than him, taller and sort of bigger than him too. She's an attractive amazon. But I think he still has some feelings related to her. He denies he EVER had feelings for her beyond friendship. Right. He told me he wanted to trust me over her. And I said then just do it. I have always picked you and when given the chance, and she's been given the chance, she's never picked you. She wouldn't even hang out with you in public. (they work together.) The EA OW, her crazy ex contacted me one day and wanted "let you know what's going on." Turns out, I knew more than he did about how much they were talking on the phone after work. (Once again, she would never hang out with him.) I told him I knew all of that already and he sounded surprised. I asked how he got my number, he explained and I said "Well, there's not much I can do about it. As my H keeps telling me, we are separated." Turns out Ex Boyfriend had no idea. As a matter of fact, EA OW was telling him that me and H were happily married and not to worry, he was just her friend. Ex Boyfriend then dumps her and changes the locks for good measure, or so he told me. Recently, her psycho ex-boyfriend emailed me her CRIMINAL RECORD. I just about puked. My guess is that he wants me to email it to her boss, whom I am very close to. I did not. I deleted it, called my H and told him what happened. He didn't know, as I didn't, that she had a criminal record. I printed it out before deleting it, knowing he'd want to see it. Then I told him I would completely deny ever getting it and that these people need to leave me alone. I don't want to be a witness after one of them snaps and hurts the other or worse. She used to contact me, texts and emails, just to "check in" with me. I know she was worried about what I was telling her boss about her. She doesn't really care how I'm doing. H and I didn't get into a fight but I was very frustrated after this last stunt and was yelling TO him, not AT him that this crap needs to stop. REALLY, I do have better things to do at work than read someones criminal record. I don't want to be a part of their sick games and attempts to annoy or hurt each other. H agreed. Later, H asks me "Did you look up her record, or did someone really send it to you?" I just about blew up. I explained, these two idiots can't get cell phone insurance because of how many they've thrown into toilets or smashed because they were mad at each other. They would go out, get mad at each other and one would leave the other at the bar with no way home. They would break windows to get into their shared house because they would lock each other out. He broke her finger. There are restraining orders, lock smiths were called to change the locks before the other got home....and all of this, they've told me about. These are stories from their very mouths. And my H knows them all too and he asks me "Can I trust you? Have you told me the truth when it comes to those two crazies?" I told him to listen to his own question. I also asked, Who do you trust? He said "No one." I mentioned I'm the mother of his child and never have ever sold him out. I've always been loyal and always picked him above anyone else. I asked him again, Who do you trust? He says "She has been shady lately and I don't think she has my best interest at heart. But really, Baby, I don't have feelings for her anyways. We are just friends." I often wonder now if he can hear himself. Basically, when I stopped communicating with EA OW because I didn't see the point and it was weird and told her as much she told my H that I was the one who contacted her psycho Ex, not the other way around. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend, so how would I know to contact him or even his name? So, that's a glimpse into the deeper drama here. I've told H, these people are completely dead to me, they do not exist and do not talk to me about them and do not question my intergrity and loyalty to him vs. them. Sheesh. Any suggestions....keep them coming please.
MLC'ers are whacked!!
They say the stupiedest things, mainly to convince themselves. My Husband did it too, as did many others.
The thing is you have to give him his space, let him do the things he needs to do and step back.
He already knows you love him, you don't need to tell him or remind him. You are his safety net.
The one thing you have to do is to protect yourself financially during this time. MLC'ers have no comcept of a "budget" and will spend spend spend. It is part of the self entitlement.
Give your Husband a chance to miss you, and don't be so available.
Don't know if I will get it, but my MLC'er boss is driving me nuts.
2 other people are giving their notice because of her behavior.
Today she went a little nuts and she and her Husband got into it at work.
Anyways, I took D8 to the specialist yesterday.
They did alot more blood work on her and we will get the results in a week or so.
Yes, they are also testing her for Celiac disease, and a ton of other stuff. Some of the tests were for things like Turners and Cystic Fibrosis which I know she doesn't have.
We discussed growth hormones also.
I will post more later, once I know more.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I have to say I LOVED the e-mail you H sent you !!!