the m has to end kev, if you want a healthy m with this lady someday, then you'll have to let this R die...it is NOT a M...it's not. So let it die and hope you can rebuild something later with her. I have those 2 relatives who divorced only to remarry later but it was years later and they DID change their ways. She said you are weak so for God's sake stop asking for her approval.' Don't you see that seeking her approval gets you the opposite? It is UNattractive and don't say it's you "standing for your M" b/c it is really you refusing to try something new b/c of your terror at the thought of losing her. Look, she's gone. That does not mean you won't someday have something to build on but it sure isn't this type of thing.
Her moving back to Florida is a GREAT sign but why did you insist that YOU would have to be part of it? You don't have that right. She can move and so can you and you BOTH have input into where your kids live. But when she makes a tentative move like saying "maybe we'll move back (where NO OM is) you instantly make yourself part of the package? Take it SLOWLY for God's sake. Back off and take care of yourself. Get a job or training or whatever SOMEWHERE....and just do it. But if she wants to move in 2 years, why tell her NOW that you'll have to be consulted b/c you are their father blah blah blah. SHE KNOWS THAT and if she doesn't, she will when the time comes IF it ever does...no need to say those things now. LISTEN to her...just listen... Stop trying to control...
Stop sniveling up to her for her snippets of approval which is not getting you anything but disrespect and contempt. The more desparate you act the more repellant it is. You have to step back so she can see you objectively. And let the idiot A run its' course. Like I said, I doubt OM is all that crazy about gertting a DIV and remarrying right away. If they do, their chance of M success is very low.
Be the best man you can be and leave the results up to God. But think out your course of action and don't oversimplify...think it out. Why'd you leave the area in the first place if you could have stayed in Dallas? B/C you were needing to get away from her? Okay, can you handle being in the same city? That's what she fears, you being close enough to obsess and follow and pursue. YOU CANNOT DO THAT...
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
