xBF said, "I'm sure whatever she has been telling A [best friend's W] - it's all my fault - I think in her mind, every thing that has been wrong for the past 8 years is my fault for some reason. So, even before when we were talking, it was hard to get anything resolved."
No biggie. This is talk between best friends. It shows he is trying to figure out what is going on with you. I see much more critical talk on this site everyday by those who profess to want their spouse back. Just flip a coin and take 5 threads and see how often the BS is talking negative about the WS. It is typical. I wouldn't put one ounce of worry about two men who are best friends talking like this.
Quote:
Now I'm really dreading this. Problem is that my out of town friend is coming to stay this weekend. Does it have to be at the house? Should we go to a neutral location?
Neutral location is fine. Slow down. Remember, we are letting him believe that you are taking things slow. I would be slow in responding to his message and then pick a day NEXT week.
SLOW DOWN... Take back your control and attitude that got you to this place.
Please stop snooping. Snooping is a good idea when you are trying to find out why your lover is acting different during the first stages of a breakup. However, YOU are the one who took control and said "no more, I won't share".... Your attitude should be that you don't snoop because you have "set him free"... You SHOULD NOT TRUST HIM. He is the one that needs to prove to you how he can earn it back. THAT is why you don't need to snoop. You already know you don't trust him (and that is GOOD) When you have your face to face,it is indeed a good idea to tell him that you are not sure you can gain YOUR trust back in him because of his previous lying...... You need to let him continue to believe that it is YOU who isn't sure what they want. (and I do believe that is a true statement according to your posts) You are only meeting to talk. Nothing more. Don't forge ahead. Stay in the now. Stay in the present.
Get back your attitude. Everything is going to be fine.
