Just keep swimming...PH #6

[pearlharbr]

It was hurtful because it wasn't true. Well, some of it isn't true.

xBF said, "I'm sure whatever she has been telling A [best friend's W] - it's all my fault - I think in her mind, every thing that has been wrong for the past 8 years is my fault for some reason. So, even before when we were talking, it was hard to get anything resolved."

Not true. I have told him every time we talked since the first bomb was dropped that I see what I've done wrong. Took him for granted, didn't want to address differences in libido, didn't look for a job, didn't communicate openly about my feelings, didn't push him to talk when I knew he needed it, etc. I admitted that our problems were at least 60% my fault and I was working on it and am willing to continue working on it. I guess he just doesn't hear that.

In light of this I sent an email to A telling her that I've reconsidered and will not be going to MSP for goddaughter's birthday. I need to keep them out of this until everything is finished. She replied that she thinks there was some misunderstanding between her, her H and me over what her H said to xBF about his A. Also said she doesn't feel like she's been a good friend to me by staying out of it, should have confronted xBF directly. But when I was there a few weeks ago I appeared to be hurt but healing and ready to move on so there was no more reason to ask xBF why.

So anyway...

Just got response from xBF:

Let me know when.

Wow, I can feel the enthusiasm. Not.

Now I'm really dreading this. Problem is that my out of town friend is coming to stay this weekend. Does it have to be at the house? Should we go to a neutral location?