Also Puppy...in my case, when we separated, we were both free to see other people...and I was not in the midst of an A. My A had been many years prior to separation. Hope that helps because as you can see, it is different. My ex-h wasn't competing with anyone except some bozo's I was just dating, no A's.
DQ
Gotcha, DQ -- thanks for clarifying.
In my own particular case, my wife has an OFF-THE-CHARTS high need for validation of her beauty of her youthfulness . . . wants to be seen as being sex-Y, but doesn't want to necessarily have to have any ACTUAL SEX to go along with it (she is LD/ND). So I never knew WHAT to do in order to pull her back towards me. I KNEW she was craving my validation, but after 15+ years of a SSM, I was beyond resentful, and tired of not getting any of MY needs met, all the while speaking HER most important LLs. So I finally stopped validating, which then made her ripe for someone who WOULD, and her affair, and . . .
