No, I'm only saying that would have worked on ME in my sitch, but from everything I'm reading (here and other boards) it wouldn't work on most WAS's.
In my marriage, I was constantly seeking his pursuit of me and not getting it. So you see, I was starved for it and felt like I needed it elsewhere since I wasn't getting it from him.
This is apparently not the usual dynamic...so that's why I ended with YMMV...
And remember my opening disclaimer, that some people don't place a high value on sexual fulfillment. I DO place a high value on sexual fulfillment so I chased it, right out the door, since I wasn't getting it from him.
In other relationships, if the person who is cheating is not actually cheating for sexual reasons (many times it is not for sexual reasons, instead it is some emotional reason or an approval seeking thing that has little to do with sex), then that cheating person may respond to the unconditional friendship thing.
In my case and in my case only, I had his friendship, what I wanted was for him to sexually pursue me.
In other cases, this doesn't seem to be the normal pattern.
