My last post from old thread: OK, I have not contacted him. May not sound like a big deal, but for me it is. I usually back down and start to apologize by now...
I will continue to work on forgiving myself for my role in this, and reminding myself that I have done what I knew to do to get closer to him. It comforts me to know that there is part of him that really wants to be here, but the part that doesn't know how/doesn't want to do the work has won out.
I am thinking that I really blew a chance with him by cutting off contact (keep re-reading BND's post about if I want to lose this man to go pitch black), but I have sat back and allowed myself to get hurt for far too long.
I really don't know any other way to still keep hopes of reconciliation open--- unless I look the other way with his (maybe/maybe not) developing relationship. Now that it is really out there (Perhaps I shouldn't have asked the question?), I can't.
Of course I should have asked the question! I mean, anything I should be building would be upon a friendship first. And, friends shouldn't lie to one another.
Just wishing I wasn't here. 2 weeks ago at this time all was well. I can't believe how they have changed.
