song....don't misinterpret what I said. You should always tell your kids that you love them. We know..YOU know..that you love your wife.

What I am saying is ...is that you need to now minimize the collateral damage to your children. Clearly, they were hurt the other day by having a dinner together with your W...when your W didn't want to be there.

Saying you 'love your wife' MAY confuse them. "Why is daddy and mommy doing this if they love each other?" "Daddy says he loves mommmy, but, why can't he stop this or why does he allow it to happen"?

You need to answer their questions clearly, concisely, without blame, without discussing the issues between you.

Think about how you present your feelings to them right now. If your W tells the kids she DOESN'T love you (she shouldn't say that of course) and you say you DO love her..then SHE gets fingered.

Just think. Express events and emotions in a way that you "hold onto your N.U.T.S"...strong..neutral....and in a way that the kids understand what is going on without maximizing the hurt. I would avoid talking about it unless they bring it up.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;