PM Thread #4

[PositivelyMommy]

Polllyanna, Sorry about your H. You know, MLC makes people's moods swing up and down. There are good times, there are very low times as well, sorry you have to take the brunt of it. I think it may be because he thinks you would take it. Does it do it to other people as well, or just to you? That should be a good clue if he can control himself in front of others.

My H is going away for the next two weekends so he wants to come by tomorrow night to visit with the kids a little bit. I told him it was fine. But I don't really want to see him. May make myself distant.

I am feeling good otherwise. Really learning how to control my anger.

I have had to get a dress altered because it didn't fit well. Well, first they didn't tell me how much they would charge me and said they would call me back. Never did. They said it was done and then told me the price, which was pretty high. I was firm that I was not happy about this arrangment since they said they would call and I could make a decision based on the price. But I said I would pay for it this time but pls call me next time. Well, took it home and found they only did half the job. Took it back, told them so, firmly. Picked it up again today and found it still not done!!! Starting fuming, got quite serious, could feel very angry and that my emotions were getting out of control. Started to exaggerate and think about all the bad stuff in my life.

Red flag!

Told myself, reframe, reframe, reframe my train of thought!

So I took my DB coach's advice:

1) Acknowledge my first feeling - which was I felt really annoyed that they did not get it right and it has taken three trips and it's still not done

2) Very disappointed that I can't trust them to do a good job, have been using them for years

3) Not let my feelings develop into anger.

I said the words out loud, "I am annoyed at them but I won't let this turn into anger" 3 times. Then I said out loud to myself, I will NOT let this turn me into a crazy, angry woman. Then I had a visual of myself being angry and out of control and that imaged shocked me back into my calm self.

I don't want to be that woman - ever again.

Lo and behold, I felt a great calm. I have learned how to handle my feelings. I feel very proud of myself. I am in control of my emotions, not the other way around. I feel so grown-up. You can teach an old dog new tricks!

Thank you DB Coach Joann.