I started my 20's.(at first I thought you were talking about my age..Shess I wish). Wife is a non believer / practicer (is that a word yoyo?) She did go to retro with me and I think she believes a little more than she lets on but anyway the (participation parts just ain't going to happen,(unless of course there is a miracle).
Ok for those of you that do not know they did find something in one of my tests. my FEMALE doctor Was going to refer me for a colonoscopy to check for polyps or tumors but then remembered and wrote. "I see you already had a sigmoidoscopy - this could be bleeding form(her spelling)the biopsy. Let's wait and see what it shows" (shouldn't she have already known this?)
I was feeling a little down last night before my quit class, don't know if it was because of the meds, the doctor's e-mails,quitting smoking, my sitch or what. I think it was all of them and not any one of them. But I needed someone or something "PHYSICAL..INTERACTIVE" to lean on. Oh Man I can see how easy (again)it is and how an affair can start. How our spouses must have seen us (Me) going about our lives, not noticing that something was wrong with our marriage. How they were looking for something or someone to cling to, someone "PHYSICAL..INTERACTIVE" .I was there again last night. This is how I now see my wife, going about her business like everything is ok. Seemingly unaware of my state of mind.. But I went to my first Quit smoking class and it was great...They had already started the class two weeks ago but their quit date is next Tuesday. This made me feel good that I was already ahead of the class and I just started. Boy when some of the people walked in (at the last minute because you know they were outside having a cig. before class) I could smell the smoke on them. I am not there yet because I know it will smell bad eventually but last night it was like "a rose by any other name". Ok snap out of it........... Anyway I felt good and re inspired from the class. W actually asked how it went when I got home. I am debating about asking her for help with this. On one hand I almost feel it will make me seem weak, "clingy".. On the other hand I feel that part of the problem between my wife and I is that we are not giving each other the chance to "open up" You know the "Damned if you do and damned if you don't".. Ok I have taken up enough space here today. I am on DAY THREE.. Going to try to make it up to the Gym today Jak58.. But it is a busy day here at work. My son's B-day party is this weekend. We are also celebrating My BIL's 60th. So all of wifes family will be there. I really need to clean up the yard and now the weather man (or woman) says it might rain..... Ok here I go running off with the fingers... I find myself doing this more now that I have given up SMOKING. I am more active.. More energetic..MORE ANTSY.....
Ok bye Doc
I will fight for you Would you fight for me? It's worth fighting for
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
