In Dec 2008 I discovered an A that my H was having with a co-worker. At that point we had been married 6 1/2 years and together for 13 1/2. He said it was a mistake and we went to marriage counselling. I read DB and did everything I could to be the greener grass. H used my efforts to take complete advantage and my lack of persuing, controlling ect to easily continue his affair. We lived this way for 4 months.
In April 2008 on the night of H's birthday he drank way too much and decided to leave me at the place we were and drive to the adjacent town to visit ow(who he still denied). On his way he was pulled over by the police and called me to get him as they would not let him drive home. I picked him up and he was convinced that I had called the police on him, he proceeded to attack me physically and damged a number of things including my vehicle and walls when I got him home.
I was at my wit's end and the following morning exposed the affair to his family in a cry for help. H refused to speak to them but moved out to "clear his head" within a week. He claimed he would be living at a friends house - and I dropped the rope - I did not try to verify. During this period he would show up at my house in the morning with coffee before work, and try to romance me(which I did often give in to-I thought we were working on it)and would go insane if I did anything to GAL, or was the least bit mysterious by not answering texts right away or the phone as suggested. I then discovered with my own 2 eyes that he was living with OW the entire 7 weeks. I confronted him-and her(who claimed he said I kicked him out and changed the locks)and called a lawyer.
After a few days he begged me to meet him, said he had made the biggest mistake of his life and wanted our M and would do whatever I wanted. OK shortening this up - he "moved in with his parents" which consisted of(now I know) going everynight between 8:30 - ? to ows house then home to his parents to bed. Looking back obviously I didn't want to know. I always suspected but I didnt do anything to prove my theory. In late Novemeber I was told by a cousin who lives 8 hours away that he had moved out of his parents about 2 weeks earlier. Again he denied but I got him to sign separation papers(mainly for my finances). The following morning he got violent and I went to the police. He was arrested and put on no contact for the monthy of december. He is currently on probation.
So where we stand now is that he is saying all the right things - and not showing them - and I have symapthy for him but no desire to go back from where I came. But he is a see-saw of emotions if things are not going right - then its threats again. I will talk more on this but this is way too long and you've probably given up reading already!
Me-33 H-36 D-5 EA/PA-Late 2007-? H moved out April 2008 Legal Separation signed Dec 2008
