WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

Stuck,

Once again, you bring up a very interesting perspective to it. I'm going to talk to my therapist/counselor about it. It seems to make a lot of sense but I'm just worried about how my wife would percieve (I know, don't try to guess what she is going to do/think). When she dropped the bomb on me, she said that she expected one of two reactions. First was that I was glad that she did that as I wanted out (can NOT believe how she would have gotten that one). Second was that I would get angry/violent and throw her out.

This is a twist as I need to be sure I can stay calm and composed so it is delivered in a manner that I'm not throwing her out, but that I'm letting her out. Subtle sounding different but huge.

I hadn't really thought about being her punching bag. She has always done nice things for me during this situation, as long as its not things related to situation. For example, if there is a particular outfit or perfume that I want her to wear when we go out, she would. If she sees I need a drink or if I ask for a drink, she would make/get it. If she hear's I'm hungry, she will get/make things for me to eat.

I guess where she uses me as a punching bag, is that she continues to blame me for all her hurt and anger and isn't spending any time looking inward. I have to think about this one. I've gotten up to the point in the Love without Hurt book where it talks about the wife who feels emotionally abused lets go of her resent/anger/hurt. It actually seems to help me too as I feel like I'm the one being emotionally abused.

Something to think about and grow on....