Divorce looming #6

[K4D]

I keep the one of D7 right next to me in whatever room I am in. She had made a picture at chucky cheese of herself and gave it to me to take with me before I left for Florida. I had my W take a picture of D11 and send it to me on my computer so I just need to print that one out and keep it also beside me.

But ya, everytime I get down, I turn and look at my picture of D7 and think about her and D11. It helps keep me going.

I still have a family picture on my IM account. My W only has a picture of her on hers. But she sees our family together everytime she and I IM. Thats not why I have it there. I put it up a long time ago. I just haven't removed it. It also helps keep me going. Although sometimes I think it may be holding me back from moving on.

One thing D11 said before I left as she looked at the picture. She started crying and told me she wishes we could be like that again. I told her I wish we could to. I told her I want us to be.

D11 is going to grow up resenting her mom. She knows this is not my doing. She knows her mom cares more about herself than anyone else right now. She is no dummy.

While my kids know I made mistakes, they also know that I still want our family fixed. My W and her BFF say that I am making her the bad guy. I disagree. I am saying I am not for this and she is having to admit that she is. Well, thats her making her own self the bad guy. I'm not going to tell the kids I am for this also when I am not.

W can be mad about it all she wants. But if she wants this. She has to own up to it like it or not. And she did.

Anyways, thats a past story at this point. I just got started thinking about it with my kids.

Kevin