Maybe it b/c they hate themselves, but it is still too painful to clean up the mess and go within it isnt you
Peace, that's exacty right! My H has even said this to me, of course in different words. He said it's "easier" to just walk away than try to fix all of the mess and go through it. I can't imagine how it's easier to walk away from your family, but I guess to them it is.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Ex stated that because he is so angry because he is broke. He has no money and no credit. He told the kids his life is miserable because of me. Because I wanted money in the divorce, his money. He absolutely feels no responsibility in providing me with anything. That part of all this is so clear. Money has always been his God. I am not so sure he will ever get over that.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, Until your xh hits bottom, he will not look within. For those who are having issues growing up, it's always someone else's fault if things do not go their way. In your case, your xh thinks that you took all of his money. He's not of his right mind or he would see that his lifestyle/behavior created his mess, i.e., no money in the pocket.
He's a very angry man right now and he may be one of them that never grows up completely. I wouldn't pay his comment about hating you and never wanting to lay eyes on you again w/a grain of salt. Some day, those words will come back to haunt him and most likely bite him on the @ss. The old saying "be careful what you wish for" is very true.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I do think my ex is following in his mother's footsteps.
Ex is doing exactly what she did to her family and children.
She did not own up to her responsibility until she was about 55.
She died at 59, and had just started reading the bible.
She missed her ex for a good 20 years.
She always tried to find someone to replace him, but could not find someone like him.
She went through 3 other marriages.
Such a shame.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T My X is also following his fathers life His father M OW, then died in his forties MY xh mother moved kids to another state and father had no R with any of them--our H are on automatic following the script, breaking up the family I wonder if they are trying to come to terms with their own childhood in this like now my X must underatand why he had no R with his dad forgiving his dad b/c he has dont the same to his kids or maybe they just repeat the offense and avoid seeing any connections to their family of origin peace and doing the same thing to his kids
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
My H's dad had A, they got divorced, and many years later he remarried and pretty much replaced his family with a "new" family. It is sick, isn't it? My parents are still married after 38 years.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I think they never got over that trauma and are trying to relive it as well as comprehend it.
They are stuck.
What really bothers me about all of this is that my ex was such a mature, wonderful man before this.
He does not even remotely resemble the man I married now.
I do have to say that I believe my ex will eventually come out of all of this.
This does not mean though he will want to reconcile.
He has always liked to pick up and start over in jobs.
I think he will do the same in relationships.
He did tell me that I was just a reminder of his failures.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Funny, my x changed jobs often too. He did it when he was at the top so he didn't have a chance to fail.
Agree about the relationships - though I am watching him "grovel" to get his ow back. AND NO it does't make you feel any better when they are "woman" shopping and still dont come back to you.
So anyway--- all interesting all sad all sucks!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
