WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[MrBond]

The emotional wrecking ball will happen all throughout this situation. You just need to keep looking out for yourself.

Let me put it to you this way. Just today my W apologized for being short with me today for no apparent reason. This is the first time she has EVER apologized to me for anything in over a year. It's taken me a very long time to get here, but you learn to take it day to day.

Stop rethinking about last week Thursday. That ship has sailed and it isn't in her mind so it shouldn't be in yours.

Imagine you are her. You want to leave your M, what are you thinking and what would you do? Have you thought about what you want out of a custody? I am still pushing for the physical separation outside the home to let her see what it feels like. If you decide to do that, you need to tell her to leave the home because if she wants to give it up, she can go. A little bit of tough love I think is in order.

I can see from her point of view it's getting to where she's getting ready to move on to the next phase of mentally moving away from you. Go two steps ahead of her and make her feel it.

She's going to be surprised, shocked and angry, but hey, it's what she wants right? You're just giving it to her but on YOUR timetable and not hers. Sometimes they need something like that to shake them up.

Over this weekend, my W was accusing me for something and I jiu-jitsued it into a talk about what she was going through and laid it all on the line. I held her to her ethics and morals and told her that she wasn't like this before. I even confronted her about the OM and how she was deluding herself that it wasn't an A. She sat and listened as I went on for a good 30 minutes. At the end she actually THANKED ME for talking to her.

I stood my ground, told her everything I've learned about us and used the techniques I've learned here. And I think that was her wake up call.

Sometimes you need to show them your confidence and assertiveness to get snapped back into reality. In other words, act like the man...not an @$$, but a man who is to be respected.

Maybe just cut back on being so accommodating to her.