Not much to report. Sunday I had my last Cig .I will not get into it here because this is neg. but wife and I did have a little conversation the brought back up front memories of the OM. It affected my Wife's attitude as well as mine. It did though let me know that my wife has some issues with sex. Did not sleep well at all that night. Did not want a cig. Until I got off of work. Well it was not that I wanted one but it was the habit part. So instead I grabbed some gum and drove home. Of course when I got home Wife was back to "normal" (as if any thing these last two years were normal) So I am just on cruse control right now. Oh ya I am having some "guy problems" and am working on that so that is kind of keeping my mind off of smoking also. I have my first Quit smoking class tonight.. I am still doing the love dares but they are more self reflection type stuff so I have nothing to report there..
Later
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
If i am right, you should be well into the 20's on your love dares, right? They do require more introspection than an outward sign to your W. Stay the course and congrats on th quitting smoking. I need to do the same. I am just being lazy about that right now.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I started my 20's.(at first I thought you were talking about my age..Shess I wish). Wife is a non believer / practicer (is that a word yoyo?) She did go to retro with me and I think she believes a little more than she lets on but anyway the (participation parts just ain't going to happen,(unless of course there is a miracle).
Ok for those of you that do not know they did find something in one of my tests. my FEMALE doctor Was going to refer me for a colonoscopy to check for polyps or tumors but then remembered and wrote. "I see you already had a sigmoidoscopy - this could be bleeding form(her spelling)the biopsy. Let's wait and see what it shows" (shouldn't she have already known this?)
I was feeling a little down last night before my quit class, don't know if it was because of the meds, the doctor's e-mails,quitting smoking, my sitch or what. I think it was all of them and not any one of them. But I needed someone or something "PHYSICAL..INTERACTIVE" to lean on. Oh Man I can see how easy (again)it is and how an affair can start. How our spouses must have seen us (Me) going about our lives, not noticing that something was wrong with our marriage. How they were looking for something or someone to cling to, someone "PHYSICAL..INTERACTIVE" .I was there again last night. This is how I now see my wife, going about her business like everything is ok. Seemingly unaware of my state of mind.. But I went to my first Quit smoking class and it was great...They had already started the class two weeks ago but their quit date is next Tuesday. This made me feel good that I was already ahead of the class and I just started. Boy when some of the people walked in (at the last minute because you know they were outside having a cig. before class) I could smell the smoke on them. I am not there yet because I know it will smell bad eventually but last night it was like "a rose by any other name". Ok snap out of it........... Anyway I felt good and re inspired from the class. W actually asked how it went when I got home. I am debating about asking her for help with this. On one hand I almost feel it will make me seem weak, "clingy".. On the other hand I feel that part of the problem between my wife and I is that we are not giving each other the chance to "open up" You know the "Damned if you do and damned if you don't".. Ok I have taken up enough space here today. I am on DAY THREE.. Going to try to make it up to the Gym today Jak58.. But it is a busy day here at work. My son's B-day party is this weekend. We are also celebrating My BIL's 60th. So all of wifes family will be there. I really need to clean up the yard and now the weather man (or woman) says it might rain..... Ok here I go running off with the fingers... I find myself doing this more now that I have given up SMOKING. I am more active.. More energetic..MORE ANTSY.....
Ok bye Doc
I will fight for you Would you fight for me? It's worth fighting for
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I got my test results the polyp was benign... I have not heard back from my doctor yet but I hope this will mean I will not need a colonoscopy.
I have been busy today cleaning the yard for son's b-day party tomorrow. It Might rain but if it does I needed to get it done anyway. My "guy problem" is under control..(Thanks for the internet) I read about some herbs (saw palmetto and others) and I have been taking them and they seem to help.
As for smoking... well.....DAY 5.. .... I really think I will make it this time. I am in control......... Wife is semi supportive. I mean she does not ask how I am doing or say "good job not having any" but when I ask her to pick me up some raisin or sunflower seeds she does..
Wife went on a field trip with son's school to go whale watching. (Didn't see any). But when she got back she said it's a good thing she has an appointment with her chiropractor today. (You know what this means... I will be the one cleaning the bathroom..And family room, and living room......ect)
Well the yard is done now I need to go clean house now Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
Doc Love
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears, Wish you were here.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
