Hi SLH: Today was a great day...it usually is at work. I have to do a better job when I have time off. I can't work 24 hrs. a day.
Re: A...he isn't having an affair. He hangs out with people who he knows he doesn't have a 'threat' of emotional connection. One of his best friends is a woman from work, who is very out and happy as a lesbian. His other friend, M, (who used to be a friend of our's)has a very platonic relationship with A. He is not interested in her. She just loves to be with him 'all' the time. It's a long story. Meanwhile, she has a loving boyfriend waiting for her at home. It's nuts...
When A and I were married, she always say the oddest things. For instance, 'where's 'our' husband tonight?' 'Before A married you, he used to buy me more things. Now he only buys things for you.' Ugggghhhhkkkkk! So juvenile!!!
Why didn't I wake up sooner? My mother tells me that she never trusted her, and now M has exactly what she wanted. Believe me, there's not enough time in the day to tell you about her.
I forgive her. I just don't trust her. She messed me up after A left. She's a moocher and a miser. All I know is that I believed her because I wanted to...I'm angry at myself. All I remember is my heart was breaking, and all around me fell apart. And she was all I had to hang onto. Ugghghhhkkkk!
Sooooooo....now, when he says that he brought M to see a show for her birthday...inside I wanted to die...but my voice was 'happy, happy'.
Maybe the next time, I should tell him that I really don't want to hear about M. I just can't get my head wrapped around the reason why he can go and do things with everyone else--trips, movies, fancy restaurants, shows. Is it because he has to get something out of his system while he doesn't have to invest any emotional ties?
