No! I cant sadly 25. I'd like to just be normal with him, either way though. All those years, he was just, I dont know, someone I felt 100 % secure with and I could be 100% myself with and now? Theres no naturalness in the way I talk to him and I hate that. We used to meet for lunch every day, back in 98, and chat and natter and joke around, but it was just like you are with your family, you know? Completely yourself, no pretence. So thats what I would like in terms of an end to this.. a return to being able to be myself and talk to him freely, if and when I saw him (which is unlikely to be often, I know).
Everyone keeps telling me that Naej..he even said as much himself at the bomb ("you'll probably never understand" was the long and short of his explanation) but I'm not giving up yet on the no answers thing!
