Just keep swimming...PH #5

[pearlharbr]

davidswife & Tawnya - I actually did buy a(nother) pair of new shoes yesterday! But they were from Target so I didn't totally blow the budget. Pewter peep toe flats. Not sure if I'm going to keep them because I'd need to maintain a pedicure. But don't worry, I did buy the purple pumps and a pair of honey ankle strap heels in Portland.

gucci - thanks for your input. I'm the type of person who needs a set of instructions to follow when in doubt (hence why I'm a baker and not a cook) and your guidance has been invaluable.

JD - I think you're right. I think I need to lay it all out there and see what happens. I don't want to wonder later or ever be tempted to look back.

What I wanted from xBF when all this started was to explore our options and find out if we are truly better off together or apart. If I felt that he owed it to me and us I must hold myself to that same obligation. However, I wonder if I will ever be able to trust him again so I am only agreeing to consider working on the R if some criteria are met.

I replied to xBF's email this morning and said if he is telling me the truth about no longer seeing the OW then I am willing to talk. No response yet. If that's not enough for him then I know he was never willing to do what is necessary to repair the breach and can walk away with my head held high. If he does want to talk then I will take a deep breath and see what happens. I am more scared of the second scenario as I'm sure you all can understand.