Don't worry about that. He'll pick it up. Trust me on that. He'll notice. You need to change it in your own behavior. Once you do that, it'll show. Actions speak louder than words. They are the only thing that will get through. Words are not going to help in this case.
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Stop overreacting to his disconnection. Instead make moves towards each other.
Just to clarify: To move towards each other, you'll have to take a different direction. Seems awkward. It is. But you can do it. You cannot take the same route you took before. The direct one. For a while anyway. That's because you cannot change him. You really and honestly cannot. You can change you and you can be happy with you; you deserve to be.
This is going to take a long time -be prepared for that; this did not happen overnight and it will not change overnight. The focus is on you. Not him. The changes are in you. Not him. You will take your eyes off the goal from time to time. Don't make it a habit. Keep your focus on you. Be the you you meant to be. Be the you he fell in love with. Don't accept ownership of his behavior and don't get bogged down with his confusion or issues. They're his and it's not fair for you to deal with them. To him or to you or to your son. It's not.
Take time for you and really enjoy you. I always have told people that I love me. Why? Because if I can't love me, how can I expect others to love me?
Be comfortable in your own skin. You can do it, and you'll be the better person for it. He'll notice. Every bit of the GAL process he will notice. He'll notice that you don't pursue him. Watch this carefully. You don't want to go completely dark for weeks on end. What you want to do is to slow things down. To lovingly detach. To give him room (he asked for that remember?) To give yourself room - you need it. After a few days it's going to come across as you being angry at him. Go dark for a few days, but watch that you are sending the right signal. If it's not working, change. You'll get the hang of it.
PMA - live it. Love it. You'll be glad you did. It'll catch on.
The more you let him own his own issues and work on your own, the better chance that change will happen.
Be slow, methodical, and consistent. Be sure to watch for what works and what does not. Adjust accordingly.
Be the change you want to see. You cannot lose when you do that.
People here are rooting for you. We want you to succeed. We know what you're going through becuase we also are going through it. I know I am. I'm very sad. Very often. I was at any rate until I started to listen to what I was hearing. I began to detach. Painfully and unwillingly, but I did it. It wasn't so bad. The first time it was involuntary and brief. The second time it was not. Started to become like crack. I needed a hit from time to time. I'm still in the throws of that addiction to the peace and serenity I need so desperately. Know what? Things are changing with the WAS as I do that. I'm seeing signs of jealousy from her. She's been much nicer. Much more interested in communicating. I'm not letting go of my happy place in favor of jumping into her arms. We're not done. But I'm not unhappy about that. I'm sad to some degree and I certainly miss her. But I'm not ready to let go of my serenity to jump back on that roller coaster.
You'll get the hang of it and it'll be exactly what you need. Just remember to leave the door open as much as you dare.
You cannot control him. Stop trying and I'll stop saying it
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
