I would love to hear from others with a walk away spouse. 15 months ago just after his 50th birthday my husband announced he was not happy. We tried counseling for eight months but I never felt he was working on it - that he'd already made up his mind. In August he told me he at a counseling session that he wanted a divorce. Much like a mid life crisis I am to blame for everything. He has children from a first marriage - now in their twenties and if they ignore him it is my fault. We have three children of our own 15, 14, and 10. With the older two he has pretty much been a Disneyland Dad and as a result my relationship with them has suffered as I've tried to be a parent. He wanted to get through the holidays which we did. After Jan he started to be much worse - at least at that point he was kissing me a few times a day. Now, I have become his glorified bill payer, appointment setter - he has turned our relationship into a business where I take care of all the details and woe is me if I don't tow the line. Lately the last straw has been my own 50th birthday - just a week away. He has said he doesn't want to do anything for it because it is awkward (this is after I threw him a large party on his). I have tried to get a life and keep working on it because I think it's important not to throw my marriage away. The hardest thing now is that we are still sharing a house - I am sharing a room with my daughter while he has hijacked the master bedroom. I feel used most of the time and see that as long as it suits him he'll still have me run the household. We started mediation but have to work slowly because of the cost. Even with that he doesn't seem to keep any of the agreements made with the mediator. Has anyone had this level of frustration? Any suggestions you can offer? My friends say that he has already gone through emotional divorce - does this mean that it is really over or if he has to become responsible for himself will he perhaps wake up and see reality?
