Hey girls, thanks.. I feel pretty low today. It always hits me a few days after I have contact with him. Its the not knowing, the charade, the pretence. I know. I know I should talk to him, but I cant face it. He didnt allow an honest conversation between us from the minute this started in June 2007 and he's been pretty powerful in silencing me since. He wont give me an inch. Its symbolic that he wont give me his address or phone number. He wont even be pinned down to a meeting (but he can email/phone/send me presents). Guess I am one of those who has had only one phonecall in a few months and a few hours of his time hey.
And no... I never thought he was capable of behaving like that. Thats hard to swallow too.
Putting me first for now involves desperately trying to finish this degree, which is a struggle.
And no, I dont understand dating, you're either into someone, or you arent! But I would give it a go, if I got asked out by someone I found attractive, but that hasnt happened! I think children is unlikely for me Naej, my Nan was 39 when she hit the menopause, so I'm not really making any plans in that department.
Perhaps I will try and see him and talk to him then.. I'm thinking next week. I'm out with Cher Friday night to celebrate finishing my dissertation, then I may go home for a long weekend.
Theres a New moon on the 26th linked to Venus, I think thats a good day to see him. Its a Thursday.
