AJM said: Start working on you and changes you want to see in yourself. Behavior to work on: Pick one of those things each week and work on changing that behavior. Analyze it. Own it. Know it. Change it. You won't be able to demonstrate some of it, but it will bleed through in your interactions.
This is what I've come up with as something I want to work on:
H would go out and I would be supportive when he left….”Go have fun…etc.” He would leave happy. Then I would start to fume and stew because when he asked if it was ok for him to head out for golf or football, etc, I’d say ok, in order to not be “that wife”, the one who controls her husband and his time.
Then I would start texting or calling. “When are you coming home?” He would get irritated and try to hide it. I would be irritated and not hiding it.
This just got worse and worse. I would sit at home with the baby fuming that he was out having fun.
Then he stopped inviting me out.
I would fume some more.
And it just became a vicious cycle.
Then I started to pick random fights with him about stupid stuff. He was always wrong.
There are obvious things here I need to work on and I have been. But if anyone has some more advice to change this behavior, make it stick and help convey this to H, I'm all ears.
