Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

Totally on the rollercoaster the last 2 days. I am glad to be going to the lawyer tomorrow to get the financial parts worked out and get that stress done.

As far as detaching I have slid so far back I am just as bad off as I was in January. Knowing that they slept together even if it was just a few times like she says has got me in a tail spin. I go back and forth between believeing and not believing and feeling sad and angry. I have all the urges to try to convince her and explain to her how we can make it work again.

There are some peaceful moments where I can convince myself to trust the universe and think about forgiveness and living in today but not enough of those moments.

I had gotten to the point that I could really sympathize with her feelings. Why she was angry and that she needed to work through them and then she could maybe remember the good again. But now that I know she is really in love with this OW I can't get back to that place. She isn't the WAW I thought she was.

I am just struggling so much now to find some balance and figure out how to deal with this new information. I can't find the hope I had before. It all seems so pointless now.