In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[runningoutoftime]

Do I just be my compassionate loving self, but detached like I am talking to someone at the bank or grocery store?

I personally would never recommend anyone be mean or snotty, but this is someone who just wants YOU away. You need to create emotional distance. I know it's very difficult when you live together and this is part of your personality. But you need to treat her like someone you might talk with on the street. No more, no less...