It's Not Like on T.V.

[AFWAW]

Our WAS are finding us too clingy right now, too dependent and we have become a burden to them. It could be totally unfounded, of course, but that is what they think so we just need to accept it. So by dropping the rope, in her eyes, you stop becoming the clingy, whiny pathetic mess that she is no longer attracted to. Instead you will be acting more like someone who is a potential BF material. This will take a long time and much more patience that you ever thought you will need. But if you really want to save your M then you need to have loads of patience and acting ability.

So DrHemlock, think Heath Ledger, Sean Penn, Robert De Niro. If she says anything that makes you nervous about her moving ever further away from you, don't panic. Just agree with her (again, acting ability). She won't be expecting it. Reverse psychology is an extremely powerful tool!

DrH,
I'm in the exact same boat as you. I want to reconcile and the wife does not. I like this advice you have been given and intend to follow it. Both of our problems I believe is that we are being way to accomadating with regards to our spouses behavior--i.e. allowing them to come to the house when they feel like, etc. I am looking for some ways to set some boundries but not come off like a jerk. On the other hand, my wife left me, ran hard the day after I got back from Iraq and has been rather mean altogether. So, maybe I should be a jerk. I think you are overall doing a good job but need to accept that it is over. It may not be over but you still need to accept it until it's not over. I'm having a very difficult time following that advice myself and I appreciate the advice you've been giving me. I read something the other day about women being able to smell the stench of self-pity on a man and what a turn-off it is. I'm sure it varies for each individual based on how long you've been married but I know for a fact that my wife is very much tuned in to what I'm thinking. So, I have to concentrate really, really hard when interacting with her to keep her guessing. I don't know if any of this makes sense but keep pressing forward and act as if it's already over.