san,

A few questions I will ask in response to this.

Why is he staying with his affair partner, why not a guy friend?

A male and female "with history" are staying together and nothing is happening? Really?

If I remember your sitch you drew your H back by being indepedant, (maybe a little too much ) and when he saw you moving forward with your life he came back. I know this is the short version, but I believe it captures the essence of what worked.

I think Puppy has a good suggestion. Set boundaries. You want the truth, you want respect and you want your M to work. These are YOUR rules. I think you have noticed internally how much stronger you are this time around. You have a much shorter path to get to the point of walking away yourself. As you said, you know you can make it without him, you don't want to.

I suggest sticking with what worked. Get on with GAL, set your sites on your desire and see if he follows. One thing... try to stay away from the temptation of seeing others until you KNOW you are healed from this. Bringing someone else into the mix will really mess with your thought processes.

Steve