Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing

[AJM]

We were in MC, but those ended because the C recommended we stop when he found out that the EA was still ongoing, and because the sessions were very stressful for my W

Have you considered getting a different MC? Not everybody finds the perfect one the first time, right? If she's willing, why not?

I believe that she is also talking to several divorced friends of hers and trying to figure out a way that she could get a D without the pain or the disruption to the family. She even went so far as to suggest (in a round about way via a story about a friend of hers) that a divorce would be possible where we just keep the house, get a second (how???, with what $$) and just not tell the kids that we were no longer married (WHAT???)

How's the weather in her world I wonder?

Seriously, I think that's part of the script. She would do it, I'm sure, but she knows that it's not possible. I've heard similar from my WAS. I think its required speech for this situation.

Don't get me wrong. You have things of your own to fix, don't you? But while you do that, you can stop hurting her. Stop bringing up the R/M and let things cool. She's already gone and you can only change yourself. Do so. Don't be vindictive, but change yourself. Don't talk about it. Don't get hurt by the things she does or says. That should be behind you now because she has already emotionally left. Mostly.

She hasn't left the house. She hasn't filed for divorce. Not because of the kids either (although that may be part of it and the only part at her consciousness). No, if she really wanted out, she'd be gone and damn the consequences. She wants to be sure she's doing the right thing and that you're not going to change.

Are you?

AJ