How do I detach and not have that come across to her in a negative way?
Any hints on the work i need to do within myself?, don't hold back.
Right now your attachment is more negative to her then your detachment. Avoid any R talk. Avoid talk about the M. Just give lots of space and try to be positive when you are around her. If interactions are difficult, try to give physical space as well. Be busy!!!
Do you have any hobbies? Can you sign up for a class? Look for a church group to join (even if you don't normally go to church, start!), what type of work did you do? Start networking in your previous field or another you'd like to work in, look for inexpensive classes to rehone skills or learn new ones, start running every day or take long walks, make plans with friends (you will need this!), etc...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
