Song, I can't for the life of me add anything to what FIB said. Well... except to emphasize this is a time for you to detach. What you are doing is not working right? Cheeseless? Stop bringig up discussions that are painful for WAS. Travel and such are. Believe me when I tell you, after that conversation about going to NYC, your wife likely cried herself to sleep for the next few nights because of kids reactions.
Don't do that. If you really do love her, then love her. Stop hurting her. Ironically, it's her choice to be in that position. But it's your choice to take great care to stop hurting her.
Detaching will help you to stop hurting her like that. It'll help to stop hurting you as well. It'll help you to stop hurting your kids. It'll help you to start grieving for the death of your old marriage. You don't want that any longer anyway. What you want is new. To get that, you have to stop hurting each other first.
There's no way to tell how this will end, Song. But you can say with more certainty that if you continue hurting her, you will know the outcome. You have a much better shot if you heal yourself and stop hurting her.
Try it and see if I'm wrong. You know what you're clinging to is not working. What have you got to lose my friend?
Peace to you.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
