Treese, Not all of them will "fit the mold" of what has been described by all of us about mlc. Each person, childhood and personality is different. They all act out in their own way. Yours h has taken up w/ow and helping her to spend her money. Yes, he's still spending money--hers. She's going to wise up at some point and realize he's not spending any of his money.
Treese, you have analyzed and analyzed your h, the ow and the situation so much, that I'm concerned it's going to drive you crazy. I was reading on another site about reverse babble. You might want to try this w/him. The next time he talks about you moving on, say something like this "yes, h, I do need to move on...so what's your point?" He'll stop saying those things once you agree w/them. The less you show him that you are still holding, the better. He'll stop talking about it to you.
I have a feeling that if you were to seriously start dating, he would have a fit. They all talk the babble, but when it comes down to it....they really don't want another person in our lives. They like to know that we are right where they left us pre-crisis. As for him shaking some guy's hand...he might do it once, but he won't do it again. What he's doing is projecting on to you what he's done...he wants you to date so that he doesn't have to feel guilty leaving you behind and on your own. It's your call, if you want to date, but please make absolutely sure you do not want your h back and the papers have been filed. I'd hate to see another person mixed into the mix you have going on right now and you need to keep your focus on you, your children and your finances.
My xh said a lot of the same comments. I would like and then beat the crap out of a pillow. I learned the hard way....do not try to change their minds....just agree w/them and then do what you need to do for yourself after they have board the Mother Ship for another twirl around earth.
Treese, analyzing will get you absolutely no where. Use your time to start helping your daughter plan her special event.
