Can I just say that your husband seems to be lashing out at you? Based on your description of course. Can't see his side at this point.
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Anyway, I wanted to say something in response to an earlier post that has been sitting on my mind. I know I am becoming better at DA and setting boundaries but though I appear stronger - and I am not saying I am not strong - it doesn't mean that I am not going through a lot of emotions, feeling alone, and weak inside.
Yep. That's part of it right? I feel that way often. Or have until a few weeks ago. I feel less that way now. It's taken a lot to get to that point. I think you will as well. It starts by being a day out of many that you feel a bit better. Then it becomes more days where you feel better than before. Then it becomes reversed completely. I think its because you forgive yourself and realize its not you.
What I read in this is that most of this is not you. I suggest you stop viewing him as the person you knew. That person is gone right now. Perhaps on holiday from life. Perhaps for good, but I don't think so.
I don't think for a second you are a bad parent. Because your kids are living with you while going to school? Please.
You need to take the focus off of him. GAL. Detach. It's killing you to not.
Him taking his rings off? He's confused. He'd like to walk away the rest of the way, but cannot. Why? Because he knows that it's not you. He knows it is him. Not consciously most likely.
Stop taking the blame for something that's not your fault or in your control. Stop letting him drag you into R talks for a while. And do NOT tell him how to feel or how he should act. If he's going to come back, he'll need to figure that out for himself.
In the meantime, figure out what you want from yourself and from your relationship(s). That will become important later.
Oh, and remember that he doesn't really want to leave you. He may think he does, but what he wants is change most likely. And not necessarily change from you. He may not know how to get that change. He may not be willing to do what it takes to get that change, but I'm guessing he's not willing to live with not getting that change that either.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
