We have made it to the other side 4

[Treese]

YR...

I thought I was doing so good but I still have alot of anxiety after the conversation I had with H last week...everything he said to me was no different than what he said a year and a half ago...there is no change in him except that he said he moved on and so should I...How in the world can he be so happy with OW....I don't get it? I'm venting here...I mean I looked around my house the other day and all the things we did even 5 months prior to me getting the speech was all things "WE" wanted....we were happy I thought....that is what crushes me...I was also ready about the MLC stages...My H doesn't fit anywhere in there....he doesn't spend money, he gives it all to me...he doesn't buy himself new clothes or change his hair...he just has a girlfriend who he thinks he's in love with...they are having fun...on her money I'm assuming unless he has a credit card I dont' know about or is hiding money somehow..

And quite frankly, I still feel the same...I'm GAL, really I am, but as soon as I'm home, H pops right back in my head...
H tells me we need to move forward so my kids can have closure...talks very excitedly about his other son....really took me back...kind of hit me in the heart, since there is no relationship with his girls right now...he says he's giving them space...whatever....that's just less time he has to spend with his kids....and he can spend with OW....that's really all he cares about right now....at least that's what it seems to me...also says we're just not like that anymore...he's not attracted to me although he tells me I am good looking and I can get a date...anyone can get a date....and why does he want me to get one so bad....says he'll shake his hand, blah, blah, blah, and he was serious....he talks calm, no yelling, EVER! almost and errie calm....we don't know him, and that I understand...he'll never be the man we knew....I'm willing to start over, a fresh start...I even told him I would like to meet his son some day in the future, just not now...I'm not ready...

Anyway, I had to vent....I've not been sleeping these past few nights, I may contact my lawyer...that too my husband says why, why waste money...lets do mediation...In my rage I told him I would sue him and the mother of his child for emotional distress to which he laughed at me....said he doesnt care about money...why should he...his OW lets him live there, eat there, you name it...and no responsibilities.....DRIVES ME CRAZY!! There, I feel better....

Mom, thanks for always listening to me....did your H do ANY of this? DOn't mean to sound like a broken record but I need positives right now...

MAH

Love ya mom...treese