WAW

[markhaving probs]

Kev,

I cannot thank you enough for the hope of rescuing what looks bad at the moment. I must try and hang on that outcome but also try and assume it could also be over. Is your progress based on your DB Coach, DB/DRing or a bit of both?

On reflection I think you are spot on with the financial side of things. As an IT contractor you can never guarantee how long you could be working for. Usually, it would be a 3 month contract with which you hope to be extended. As contractors get paid more than permanent staff (only if you are working all year, you can earn very good money, and with a good accountant you can keep alot of it as well (legally of course). I think the presssure of not having a career that I have never truly been happy in, and the income uncertainty has played a part, particularly as the children have got older. My wife often said I would return home and be like a bear with a sore head, shouting at the children, a bit off with my wife, but aren't alot of husbands like this when they return home? It was only temporary until I calmed down abit from the work and the commute.
again, you are right about the negativity in regard to income, I would often say "no, we cannot afford that" before she could even finish the sentance. Unfortunately, alot of our friends are either pilots (as welive close to Gatwick Airport)or reasonably successful businessmen whose wives do not work, wheras my wife works very hard, particularly when she has supported me during periods out of work. I believe this is another reason as to why she has felt things could be better, and I in turn have felt the pressure to accrue as much money as possible when I am working. It seems like a vicious circle, but I always have tried to do the best for my family, though it appears it has not been enough for my wife. She has used alot of her own money to buy things for the house, which has hurt me a bit and maybe she feels I am not providing as a husband should.

We purchased a house in January 2008 that required major work (too much in fact) as we used all the money we have accrued in equity, I was also unemployed from end of Jan 08 to mid May 08 (14 weeks) which meant no income and was an incredible strain as I did not partake in any sport during this period (me showing commitement), often working late at night to try and get some of the rooms ready. We were also living with my parents-in-law who apparently saw a different side to me (a negative one) as I would disappear up to our room and not really involve myself in helping them, or offering any money for our keep. I can understand this now, but I think the strain of all this, coupled with my wife thinking I did not handle the stress of the building work either has taken its toll.