The Flames are Still Rising....

[blindsided1]

Thanks ST. It was a hard night. I slipped and looked at the FB. There is a message to an old friend of his talking about how he was married and now divorced. He has a daughter and a son on the way and two step sons and his life has been pretty much perfect for the last 1 1/2 years. It hurts that his life has been perfect since he left me. It hurts to hear him talk about "her" kids as his step sons. "They" are NOT married. He is STILL M to me, we aren't Divorced. WTF? WTF? I don't understand how this happens. I just don't.

But, there is a large part of me that looks at his message and realizes that it is all phoney. This is exactly what he does. He fabricates a life for himself....a false life. His "step-sons" please, give me a break. They'll be that until he tires of them. That's what he does. He gets tired of his sitch and then just replaces it. I'm living proof. His ex-girlfriend went through the same thing. So, I suppose I should be thanking my lucky stars that I am out of it now and not 10, 15 years down the road...kicking myself in the a$$ for staying with this man. God works in mysterious ways and I do not believe that there are any random events.....everything has a purpose. So, I wait.....eyes open, heart open, trying to forgive.