Sunday (my 44th birthday) H played online, multi-player video games for at lease 10, maybe 12 hours. Twice I pulled my 5 yo away from watching. These are mature fighting games. he plays 15-25 hours/week. It hurts to hear him laughing, joking and "happy" with his online friends. My IC suggests I escalate that info into a MC session--I haven't for the last two sessions--more of the leave H be approach since he knows we have agreed it isn't appropriate for our son.
My daughter is coming home from college so I changed the sheets on her bed and moved back to "our" bed. When the bomb dropped, my husband repeatedly asked why I was in a different bed. He said he was being "tested." His IC suggested he could invite me back to our bed. He didn't. The bed situation came up at MC--H said the separate beds reflected where we were as a relationship (separate) and shrugged whether he cared or wanted me back in the bed. I asked him (dumb) if it would be a problem if I was back in the bed last night. He said no and seemed relieved. So I go back to the bed and can not sleep there--just like after the bomb. I don't feel safe. I can't cry. I can't relax. The "silent treatment" in words and touch is heartwrenching. I move to an inferior twin bed in the T.V. room. If it comes up, I believe H will be the "victim" of our broken relationship and my bed hopping "punishment."
My IC and the MC seem to think we are "working" on our marriage and that I am not showing my full range of emotions.
Again, my constant analysis shows that the full truth of the MLC hasn't penetrated my beehive hairdo.
