I know that feeling awww too well. I HATE being the second option and being second to someone like my H's OW really hits my self esteem hard. And like your H, my H's OW is younger, but only 7 years younger than I am and 11 years younger than my H. But I do think my H is immature so they kinda match in age. \:\) I know we each have our own burdens to bear but I also feel in my own strange way that I cannot compete because OW has a son for my H. H and I, or more like I, was trying to get pregnant but it just wouldn't happen. It's hard to feel like we can't compete. Maybe the truth is that we shouldn't even be trying to, even though that is easier said than done. Clearly we are the better option. Your H has had 20 years with you and it takes a lot of positive attributes to be with someone for 20 years. Not so easy starting over. Be strong and stay well. I wish there was more I could say to comfort your heart and mine but we are in the same place. I can't wait for this crappy feeling to pass. Stay strong.