Standing on the Edge

[native]

The three months out of the house have been eye opening. Her relationship with this other guy has grown stronger I believe and her relationship with my daughter has gone deeper and deeper in the toilet.

One thing I can be thankful for is that my W hasn't really found anyone else yet, that I can tell.

At this point, she is doing better with our D. Last weekend's talk with her cousin was helpful in that regard I think. (I told him not to implicate me. I have all but given up trying to address this issue with her)

Despite her loud and painful proclaimation on Valentine's Day that she wanted to date someone else, she is again acting like she is appreciative of my presence and open to minor displays of affection.

From what I understand, when a couple enters the 'peiceing' or initial reconcilliation stage, things must be slow and easy. Too much pressure will send them running again.

But on the other hand, if I ignore her, it will be like more of the same that caused the problem in the first place.

I think there has to be a balance between lots of 'GAL'ing and showing openness to the WAS, infrequently showing little signs of love, but definitely not getting ahead of where she is at in reconcilliation.

I am clear that one cannot win back the WAS on the basis of obligation to their vows, the childs best interest or any thing else that is external to them and misses the deeper issue, ie: that they will come back when they want to come back, when they realize that what they are looking for is what you are offering.