Good questions Newgal. I wished I had some answers but I don't because I second that. In my case, my H has told me that he recebtly told OW that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. And like I said to him, she should have laughed and said then what are you doing here with me and why do you treat the "best thing that has ever happened to you" that way. But nonetheless, H still carries on his A with OW, and has no desired to come home. He is even living in awful conditions with OW but still he has left our beautiful home to be with them. So I don't know when being the better option really works. I've been the better option and all of my H's friends and family tell him that they would love to have a W like me. But that is the whole problem, H is insecure in himself and much rather be with OW who has nada going for herself than to be home.
And your second question, I think that is what really does hurt the most. After having a life with our H's for so long, and then just being disposed of. What has hurt me lately is how H's nieces and cousins have gravitated to OW. Thank God not H's parents or siblings, but I can't help but feel that maybe in time they will too. But it hurts to know that my nieces in law who I have always been there for since they were toddlers and have treated like my blood nieces have just turned on me. One niece in particular use to hold on to me like her mommy when I take her out when she was small and poof, she just turned on me too. Got into an argument with me over OW. Unbelievable.
So yeah, I sometimes feel like I am fighting a battle that I have already lost. So sorry I didn't have any answers.
