Standing on the Edge

[native]

'Well, it was just an observation. You know your W best. I hope she does take you up on your offer to for C & can move a bit out of her anger zone. Have a good day!!!'

I am trying to moniter and observe and change my behavior accordingly. I think she was toying around with the idea that she might reconcile until Valintines day. The checking up on her, the guilt inducing message from our D, those things kind of drove her back.

What I don't understand is this: In a typical marriage, if the other spouse were going out whenever they wanted and you didn't know where they went or when they were coming back, and add to that the fact that you were left at home to care for the child, which the spouse was not sharing in ever,wouldn't you feel that was a problem ?

I just think it is common courtesy to tell your mate where you are going and when you plan to be back, or at least call occasionally and update them so they don't worry.

And I think that shared responsiblity for childcare is also a reasonable expectation from your spouse.

Some of her behavior can be explained by the fact she was already detaching from the marriage.

But my feeling is that in a healthy marriage, you share houshold things with your spouse, you volunteer where you are going in the evening and update as things change, and you do other things to show basic consideration and care.

So I would expect that from her if we were together again. I can't accept that she could be in a marriage and it was ok for her to come and go as she pleased, and leave me to wonder and take care of the kid.

I don't think that is too much to ask.

There....I feel better.