WAW

[markhaving probs]

Thanks JCJ,

I appreciate your response. I have conceded the best thing to do at the moment is to move into a friend's house for three months to 'clear the air'. I have thought long and hard over this because all the advice to my string and everybody else's is not to move out. I 'proposed' I move back in the marital home in June when her parents house becomes available until August and I said she could go there. I said this in a firm, slightly assertive way. She agreed, which astonished me (thank you to CIW for telling me to 'get a pair')I feel I need the space as much as she does, also I need to remove myself so that she cannot channel her anger at me as she is talking in complete negatives at the moment, and I think with me gone, she can start to focus on the situation and her/our children's future. It probably will not make any difference to our relationship but I have tried everything to date but nothing is working. I have never seen her so focused and so sure about our relationship, she is angry but clear in her ultimate plan - to divorce and start again. I cannot prove there is anybody else but reading the DR chapter on 'Infidelity' makes me wonder if she has a 'secret friend' waiting in the wings, and/or she is involved in an EA. I have not found any proof to substantiate this but I just have a gut feeling - no physical contact, need for space, ILYBIANILWY, etc.

I am now running on autopilot in regard to the fact I do not feel any DR strategies will work for me, though to contradict myself I will continue to GAL, continue with 180's and possibly go grey when I move out. Grey because we are going to be discussing childrens issues etc. I am also confused because if I go grey I might be doing 'more of the same' as I am being petetioned for neglect and not being around for the children. Any thoughts on this would help greatly.

Mark