A Cry for Help & Don't know where to go

[SRTTF]

If your L was at court, "you" got notice of the filing for legal purposes. Don't know why there was a disconnect but your L was there b/c notice had been served. (Hence your lawyer's presence.) Don't know why your h appeared confused but lots of folks do when they are in court, and it may mean nothing or he was hung over or whatever...does not matter. Don't know, don't care.

I was referring to the fact that my L didn't notify me. Regarding my H apperance in court, it does matter to me and alot of other people who believe that he is still drinking.

Are you expecting alimony and were you only married 5 years? Just asking. B/C judges are loathe these days to give a check to a woman the rest of her life b/c she was once married to a man.

I am asking for temporary support until if/when the divorce if final. My H makes 5 times more than I do.

Don't overlook what 95% of women in the world are dealing with. They don't know if their h's are coming home each night b/c they may have been killed by a rival tribe or rebel group or succumbed to illness...and what home? Many have no shelter, or they have little food and no refrigeration at all. When we say "food" we mean rice and grain that WHO provided at the refugee camp b/c of the drought or famine...if the women had a h who left her, she is considered in many cultures to be an untouchable with NO hope of remarrying... No one is hacking your limbs off, or telling you how to worship God, if you are allowed to, or shooting at you, you do not have to flee your country with only the clothes on your back, you do not have a horrible disease and neither do your kids, and while this may be a dramatic analogy it is nonetheless pretty accurate. Big picture...you are luckier than most women in the world. Remember that...I say it not to minimize your pain but to give you perspective..

PERSPECTIVE !!! My veh just got repo'd today, I go to the food shelf every 2 weeks and am about to be homeless. That means no where to go with a 13 yr old D. To me this is a big picture. I have not eaten today b/c I fed my D first then the veh got repo'd and I had to search for a veh that I could borrow until I can figure out what to do. Yes I understand that things can be worse and are in many areas in the world. Right now I am thinking about my D and her life.

So focus on saving yourself and GAL. How did you manage before your h came along? And why don't you qualify if you have no income, or do you have some? What are your financial problems related to, if not him? If the money problems are caused by him, you may be better off divorced. ]

Saving myself and my D is all I can think about right now. Before I was with my H I lived in Colorado doing just fine on my own with my D. He has left me with a number of bills and past debt. Everything was in our names together and since I am the one that has stuck around, I am the one that they can get ahold of. Regardless of the money problems I could never say that I WOULD BE BETTER OFF DIVORCED.

Your focus on his drinking is interesting. Mixed feelings for me. On one hand, if it helps YOU, do it. Learn what you can so you can let go of it. And find a real group meeting for God's sake, obviously. I have never heard of a one person meeting. But if you focus on his drinking so much then what is new? I mean you're still letting his drinking determine your quality of life, correct? Hope not.

You know, you can manage more than you realize. You lived before you met your h. You were not starving, right? So, you can make it without him. He doesn't sound as if he was that financially secure for you anyhow. I'm not clear on all your financial issues. But, regardless, you can get through this better than you realize. Try hard not to have fear guide all your choices. Good luck,

I know I can do it on my own if I had a clean slate. It is not so easy when you are already sinking. Yes I am focused on the drinking b/c I believe that is the main motivating factor for what is going on. As far as the Al-Anon mtgs, you must live in a big town where there are plenty of resources. I don't. This church offers the mtgs as well as a group for divorce care. The leader said that everyone went to the divorce care group on the day that I went b/c it was the first mtg for them. She also said that the grp usually never gets bigger than 4 or 5 ppl.
I do work and I make 100 dollars to much to qaulify for assistance.

I hope this helps explain things alittle better.

Ok so bad day today when I got home from work. My truck got repo'd today. I wanted so badly to txt H and tell him to go #$%# himself but I didn't. So, I have alot to do tomorrow. I have 10 days to try and get it back. My L is wonderful. She came to my house and helped me find a veh to barrow. We are going to also file for bankrupsy in all of this mess. Hopefully then I will have a clean slate but I am afraid to see what else I will lose until that time. I will continue to pray that God helps me to follow his will and to be strong.