Divorce looming #6

[K4D]

I guess I will if yall want me to. I know I can benefit from yalls advice. I guess I just felt like I had run everyone off by my stupid back and forth emotions and so I felt like maybe it better for me not to be on here.

But I will stay then. I will go ahead and post what is going on with me.

I have been applying for jobs in Dallas while training here. There are some decent prospects. The problem is it is hard to nail anything being here. I had one agency call me about a job, but wouldn't give me any info about it unless I came in personally to talk to them. They asked when I would be in Dallas. I said if I have a phone interview and they are serious about me, I would come up there for a second in person interview. But they said no. I have to be in person from the start. So much for that one.

Anyways... I talked to my kids again tonite after their counseling appointment. They are doing good. Next Monday night the counselor wants to talk to both me and W. So I will be on speaker phone.

I have been in contact with W as I finally did break down and want to go home and get a job. She said I was weak and needed to grow more. She said she is at peace now with me gone. She said the kids don't have any chaos in their life with me gone. And she is finally allowed to be the type of mom they need her to be with me gone.

She said my presence alone causes her mental anguish and she can't be who she needs for them if I am even around. She said it already bothers her that I will even be in the same city as her at the end of April for the kids performances.

She said I am welcomed to come back to Dallas and stay somewhere else while I get a job, but that I am not staying at the house until June if I come back sooner.

At this point its not about saving the M anymore. It was about getting a job and being able to have my kids back with me. There is nothing I can do to save this M in the next 3 weeks unless God intervenes himself.

I think I really started stressing about being able to find a good job down the road and wasn't sure how best to direct myself. If I get a serious potential then I will see if I can stay with my friend who is also helping me with this programming and sql server stuff. I could really stand to stay with him anyways to get additional help with this stuff.

So not sure where I am at right now. W said she needs more time to get over hating me. She said she truly hates me.

I see some pretty good job opportunities there. I hope I can nail one of them without having to be there in person first.

Kevin