I dont know if anyone will remember me. Its been about 3-4 months since I have been on here.
I abruptly quit posting due to my husband finding and registering to this site in the newcommers forum. At that point in time..I was totally unsure of what I was going to do whether to accept him back and forgive or continue down our seperate paths.
It honestly did not take long, I welcomed him back into my home and family..purely out of love. We have been married 19 years and he truely is the love of my life.
I had been contemplating coming on and telling everyone we were doing well and living life one day at a time....
SURPRISE!
After almost 4 months of everthing fine, he just did not come home...Said he thinks of her and has feelings for her. Said something was missing with us.
Needless to say, I am sick and devistated. But, not at the desperate stages I was last summer. I reached a point of strength that I amazed myself.
She has accepted him back and he is "on her couch". Who knows..
I guess I am here for support through these next phases. I love him and want to help him heal, but I know he will not come home. I honestly think he is crazy right now. How does one person change on a dime so quickly..with no warning.
I can't say I'm surprised, San. Any "man" who would repeatedly cheat on his wife, tell her he needed "space" so he goes off on vacation (all the while texting his OW), and then has his MOMMY call his wife to break it off, well . . . I just have no respect for him.
I'm sorry you're back, but I pray that this time you find the strength to move on with your life. He truly is not worthy of your love and devotion.
San, I'm so sorry. I honestly can say I know how you feel. My H has played mind games with me throughout all of this and unfortunately I let him for fear of losing him for good. I guess what I didn't understand was I just prolonging the misery, I had already lost him. At this point I don't think my marriage will be able to recover.
I don't think there is a thing we can do to "make" them come home or get over the addiction of the OW. All we can do is to try to get ourselves to a healthy point of living for us and our children. The WAS is not concerned about the wellbeing of their children. It's all about what makes them happy. All we can do is work on making ourselves healthy both phyically and emotionally to be the parent they deserve.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I am much stronger this time around, because I know I can survive without him. I just dont want to.
I just get so confused trying to figure out what is true and what is lies. I try and hold onto the memories of the wonderful man I married not the deceptive one of this past year.
I try and figure out if my feelings for him are all based upon lies and what is reality to me...really isn't.
Does that make sense?
I truely believe my husband is caught up in the feelings of excitement from an affair. He never truely gave everything up, even if he says he did..he really didnt by sending her money to repay her, her responding that she got it. Its all part of a vicious cycle of deceit and the thrill of never getting caught. And he was continually thinking of her...
It sucks the whole thing. I have continued to be bitter towards her.. she was my friend and betrayed me. But, I can honestly say I forgave him and was moving forward. Trying to make a go of our marriage.
Its all out of my hands now. He decided ...so that is that. I will never accept a relationship between them... who knows what will happen. I do know I can make her life misaerable!
Sorry, to find you back. You would not be the first to find yourself back here after a failed attempt at reconciliation. Very common in these situations.
Puppy offers you a choice, but I'm hoping you don't let others opinions sway your decision on which direction to choose. This is far to personal, it is for you to decide, in your own time and in your own way.
Regardless of the direction you choose, know you will find support, as you always have, right here.
Let us know what your thoughts are. What you are facing is a defining event, take your time, put the emotions aside as best you can and think things through.
You have some history here and you've displayed your strengths in the past, you will again.
Dignity, honor, respect and patience all play a role.
Its all out of my hands now. He decided ...so that is that. I will never accept a relationship between them... who knows what will happen. I do know I can make her life misaerable!
If it matters, What's in your hands is the ability to control yourself.
He has made a decision but like most of us these decisions seem to get ammended quite often.
Try and think of the OW as having to deal with his s*^t and you get a repreive.
As far as what will happen...??? Good call "who knows"
You really don't have to make her life miserable it sounds as if she has started down that path already. Nothing good can come from breaking up or getting involved in anothers relationship.
Just some thought from a man who has run this race.
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Unfortunately, I am also very hurt and bitter in alot of ways. This person was my best friend and I got repayed by her willingly breaking up my family.
I will enjoy her suffering just for the fact that she has no remorse....
I love my husband and had many great years...this last year has been horrific.
If we are done..I will wish him well. But not with her...ever
He did tell me today..(not that I believe him.) that there has been nothing between them..no touching, kissing, intimacy..etc.
She told him she has moved on. I dont really believe that..why would she let him stay on her couch? As a friend? puleez.
This will get very nasty before it gets any better.
Steve, I have maintained alot of dignity, honor and respect thru all this...I will continue ..thank you ..but somehow I will have an opportunity and grab it!
