Came across one of those issues last night and this AM. W has a TON of stuff going on in her life right now with her work (getting ready for the holiday season) and both kids back in school and hasn't really settled into a routine yet. Last night when she got home from work, she was upset at how "trashed" she thought the house was. She was really upset more at herself b/c all of the stuff that was laying around was hers. She admitted that that was the case, but she also wasn't feeling well so I was getting the brunt of the attitude. I went into full DB mode, asked how I could help and didn't say anything that would escalate into an argument. I could feel the anger/resentment rising in me, but I realized that it was a function of the moment and expressing myself at that point wouldn't get me anywhere. Later in the evening she apologized and said that she didn't mean to take her frustrations out on me. We talked about how I had felt and she really appreciated that I had not said anything that would have escalated the issue.
This morning was more of the same and on the way to work she called me just to apologize for (her words) "being a world class b---h." and that she was going to really focus on changing her attitude over the course of the day. I just laughed and said thanks for thinking of my feelings.
Like the books say, a R is constant work - sure is nice to have tools to better handle that work aspect of it.
